Buying meat and finishing Hellraiser.

The other day I went shopping for some relatives of mine who are kind enough to put a roof over my blonde hair at the moment. One thing on the list was mincemeat. Now in the last ten years I have never had any reason to enter the supermarket's meat aisle and even before giving up the magical variety a couple of dead animals could apparently have enhanced my diet with, I cannot remember ever buying a piece of meat in my entire life.

Hmmmm. Such a bizarre place if you're not used to it I must say. I started my quest for the "organic" section thinking, that if I have to buy meat in the first place it is fair enough that I buy some coming from a vegetarian cow. I got confused in no time. I did not realise that mincemeat comes in different animal flavours. Pork or beef? What to do? Pork Pasta or Beef Bolognese? Evidently no help was to be drawn from alliteration logic (as usual) so how on earth should I know?

I found meat incredibly boring. What is all the fuss about? Such a boring aisle of ugly pink stuff, I rather buy a cake that looks like a Dalek frankly. Having said that, I quite enjoyed watching Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall preparing all of the animal. Literally all of it that is. It seems fair enough to me not to shy away from heart and brain if you eat the rest. Given the choice I'd rather have brain than tongue and liver. At least it might feed me the wisdom of cows and solve the mystery of the little blue plastic cow once and for all. It must be a lot easier to "stomach" life if you have several of them. Stomachs that is, not lifes. Then again cats might make the perfect Sunday roast, who knows. Probably not though, they're just not the type, more Wednesday sandwich really.

Before anyone bothers to ask, I have no idea what I am talking about either. All I can say is that the meat aisle was a great adventure. I thoroughly enjoyed myself until I tried to find meat "to put on bread sausage type of thingy." I bought something with a very melodic Italian name thinking that should I be told off for buying the wrong stuff at least I want it to sound like an opera.

Oh! Speaking about raw pieces of meat, I have finally finished Hellraiser. Oh yes I have! At night though and all alone again. Since then I haven't touched the Rubic's Cube, fearing little colourfull torture creatures might appear threatening to tear my soul apart. Nothing worse than a little blue plastic cow tearing... oh nevermind it's not like I ever gonna solve that thing.